What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender if anything?
I think the only thing that really frightens me is that I will be required to dis-engage my ability to think and reason ... and instead take some kind of leap of faith. If I can see a reason and understand the underlying principle then fair enough. If not, then I k now I will struggle.
What convinces me that I can't drink successfully any more?
I have tried cutting down. I have tried controlled drinking. I have tried abstinence. Of these three only abstinence gave me anything resembling peace. I want to learn to be sober which is more than abstinence. I want to learn to irradicate my addictive thoughts, feelings and actions.
Do I accept that I'll never re-gain control, even after a long period of abstinence?
Yes I do.
Can I begin my recovery without complete surrender?
I think I started my recovery long before I came to AA. I think continuing my recovery without surrender is the present challenge.
What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
I think I would have more peace.
Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?
I think my recovery would stall without surrender.
