Step Two Part Five: Restoration to Sanity

What are some of the things I consider examples of sanity?

 Responding rather than reacting. Taking time to think things through, to look at cause and effect, and determining ways to act accordingly ... and then following through! Taking time to work through things rather than opting for the "quick fix." Looking for perspective. Making better choices. Acting more consistently. Not expecting to get it 100% right!

What changes in my thinking and behaviour are necessary for my restoration to sanity?

I guess the the main change that needs to happen is to do with being less apathetic about change itself! A willingness to ask for help and act in line with advice given rather than thinking I can get by doing my own thing the whole time.

In what areas of my life do I need sanity right now?

I need to get over my resistance to actively doing the steps. I know they make sense. I can see that they work. And yet I find it really hard to follow through. Expecting to get the results without the work is not realistic and therefore not "sane."

How is restoration a process?

It takes time. It takes practise. It takes effort. It takes patience and compassion. It takes looking for progress and recognising where and when it is happening.

How will working the rest of the steps help me in my restoration to sanity?

I think having a Higher Power that acts as both a source of inspiration and wisdom will help to create momentum and much needed movement. Im not sure I am in a position to know exactly how working the steps will restore me to sanity except to say that by building a sober life I minimise my risk of returning to the outright insanity of drinking. 

How has sanity already been restored to me in my recovery?

I am already making better decisions. I am learning new ways to cope with things without always resorting to avoidance behaviours. There's a long way to go though.

What expectations do I have about being restored to sanity? Are they realistic or unrealistic?

I hope my life will be better and that I will gain a sense of "wellness" and inner peace. Is that realistic? Well I don't expect to feel great every day. But I would like to feel more consistently sane.

Are my realistic expectations about how my recovery is progressing being met or not? Do I understand that recovery happens over time, not overnight?

I think so. It's hard to know if you are being realistic or not. I mean our thoughts are our own aren't they? Hoping is not the same as expecting. So I think my expectations are being met in that I am feeling generally OK some of the time. I feel "well" more of the time and occasionally feel more at peace.

Finding ourselves able to act sanely, even once, in a situation with which we were never able to deal successfully before is evidence of sanity. Have I had any experiences like that in my recovery? What were they?

 Yes. When I started to spiral downwards into a depressive episode I went to the GP instead of not facing up to what was going on. I explained about my drinking history, and I got some medication and counselling support. I would never have done that in my drinking days, nor in early sobriety. AA is helping me to understand that I have to help myself more.