What action can I take that will help me along the process of coming to believe?
This is a difficult one but I guess just more of the same ... trying to keep an open mind, reading the Big Book and 12&12, talking to other people in recovery, sharing and pooling experiences. Looking at works for others and trying out things without pre-judging the "likely" outcomes.
What am I doing to work on overcoming any unrealistic expectations I may have about being restored to sanity?
I was quite taken aback by this question. I think if anything my expectations are low rather than high. My hopes are somewhat higher though. Drinking and the thought/behaviour patterns that enabled and perpetuated it are still quite troublesome to me. I guess I had hoped that stopping drinking would restore more of my sanity than it has to date, but I see that working the steps has the potential at least to improve that situation. I hope so anyway.
What is my understanding of Step Two?
My understanding is that having acknowledged that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable I need to do something about it. Acknowledging that my own resources have thus far prooved less than sufficient to deal with my alcoholism (even accepting my abstinence prior to joining AA), I need to be willing to believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. At this point I have not clearly defined my Higher Power as such except to say that I do completely see that my home group of AA'ers is a Power much greater than myself and has prooved far more effective than my own efforts alone in trying to restore myself to sanity. I hope in time to define a Higher Power which has a more spiritual dimension but that may not happen. In the meantime I am happy that my AA group and the principles underpinning the 12 steps can act as a working model ... as my Higher Power.
How has my prior knowledge and experience affected my work on this step?
One of the real stumbing blocks for me in this step has been the whole faith/religion/god thing. Accepting that I already have faith ... and that coming to meetings and trying to work the steps is evidence of faith has helped me to overcome my inherent distrust of anything that looks at first glane to involve an element of religious-type faith. Sometimes I get caught up in the detail and can't see the wood for the trees! I already have faith in lots of things, I already trust in lots of things. I suppose I just needed time to get over my instinctive reticence to do anything without first fully understanding what is involved and why it has to be that way.
